Happy Earth Day to Me

1999

(4/23 Update Below Playlist)

Dear City I Live In:

I knew you were coming for it...you warned me. I saw the orange dot of death spray painted on my beloved shade tree. I received your letter telling me that you were going to remove it because of the split in the trunk that has been there since the ice storm of 2002 and 'internal decay'. So, I knew.

You even tempted me with a list of nice, new trees you'll replace it with eventually (in the fall...after the time when I really need my tree for all that nice shade it always provided). Maple, redbud, lilac, magnolia...all nice trees, no doubt.

A future resident will never know the difference, one of those trees will be all they know. But for me...for now, the entire view from inside my home has changed for the worse.

I gasp every time I look out my window and see that gaping space. It's just gone...the tree I have been looking at for the past 10 years. The tree that has signaled 'you're home'.

It was there when I drove away this morning to go to work. I would have said goodbye if I had known today was its last day. I would have hugged my tree. If anyone saw me, they might just assume it was an earth day thing.

Speaking of...why today, of all days? I'm sure it just fit into your tree-killing schedule to be on my street today. Hey, nothing personal...at least it wasn't Arbor Day.

I wasn't even here when it happened. Although I'm not sure if I could have handled that anyway. I am so sad. And I feel guilty that i didn't fight for my friend...protect something that has protected me all these years. Maybe even play the 'Please don't do this, I have stage 4 cancer' card. Even if you had said no, I would have known that I tried.

Instead, this is what I came home to:



That also sorta depicts how I feel inside right now.

Happy Earth Day to you too.

Your Unhappy Tree-Hugging Resident,
Kelly

{playlist complete...for now}

Next Day ~ 4/23

Thank you for your sympathy and well wishes!

I simply cannot live with negativity and guilt for any great length of time, so...

- I am adapting to my new view

- I sent the city an e-mail asking what comes next in terms of the hole they left behind

- I am now focusing on the positive and beginning to plan a new corner bed in the free-up space.

As far as my health goes, I continue to feel a bit stronger each day (knock wood). I think I am working my way back to relative normalcy slowly, but surely.

I'm hoping to see Michelle this coming weekend while she's in town, and also to hang out with Tracy and the girls if all of our schedules and sicknesses are in sync. That can be quite challenging these days, but I am really hoping everything will fall into place as planned.