exhibit a
where the trail begins...or ends(not necessarily what it looks like)
exhibit b
exactly what it looks like(unfortunately)
exhibit a: mysterious trail of what appears to be blood in front of my house.
last night was trash night at my house. i had to drag the bag to the curb out of my front door because my garage door opener isn't working right now (long story).
on my way back into the house i notice this trail of what looks like blood in the snow on the driveway. eek!
i am sure everyone already knows where this story is headed....but oh no, not me. i am truly freaked out thinking that some poor injured bunny or other animal has dragged itself up my driveway in order to escape a predator and/or to die in my yard.
for some reason animals seem to think it's a good place to do that, i have found a plethora of dead birds, squirrels, and rabbits over the years. there was once a decapitated rabbit in my front bushes...gross. and who could forget the bird in the wall incident? certainly not me.
but, i digress.
it's freezing cold, it's dark, it's late....and i am following this trail of 'blood' looking for a helpless, possibly horribly maimed animal along the way. or worse yet, the thought crosses my mind: what if it's human blood? double eek!
i follow the trail all the way up my driveway and to my front step. it is then that it (finally) occurs to me that it might not be blood, and that perhaps it is something that leaked out from the bag that i had JUST dragged through there.
DUH.
until the snow melts i will have a trail of what looks like blood leading right to/from my front door to/from the curb.
i'm hoping that my neighbors and/or the cops don't think that i'm some kind of psycho who chops up their victims and puts them out in the weekly trash.
because c'mon...i may be dumb, but not quite that dumb.
same night, a little later....
exhibit b: battery in a bowl of whipped cream.
question #1: a bowl of whipped cream?
answer: i was hungry. it looked good. don't judge.
question #2: ummm, a battery?
answer: yeah, i know. i decided to remove/replace the one in my wall clock that has been stuck at 8:30 for days before i had my little snack. in the process, i popped it out and it landed right smack in my little snack.
i mean, really...with a whole kitchen full of places where it could land why does it have to land in the one place i don't want it to?
because it's me, that's why. and because i didn't think to move either the bowl, or my urgent/multi-tasking-battery-has-to-be-changed-right-now self to a different area.
so, back to my original question....is it just me, or do these kind of things happen to other people too?
last night was trash night at my house. i had to drag the bag to the curb out of my front door because my garage door opener isn't working right now (long story).
on my way back into the house i notice this trail of what looks like blood in the snow on the driveway. eek!
i am sure everyone already knows where this story is headed....but oh no, not me. i am truly freaked out thinking that some poor injured bunny or other animal has dragged itself up my driveway in order to escape a predator and/or to die in my yard.
for some reason animals seem to think it's a good place to do that, i have found a plethora of dead birds, squirrels, and rabbits over the years. there was once a decapitated rabbit in my front bushes...gross. and who could forget the bird in the wall incident? certainly not me.
but, i digress.
it's freezing cold, it's dark, it's late....and i am following this trail of 'blood' looking for a helpless, possibly horribly maimed animal along the way. or worse yet, the thought crosses my mind: what if it's human blood? double eek!
i follow the trail all the way up my driveway and to my front step. it is then that it (finally) occurs to me that it might not be blood, and that perhaps it is something that leaked out from the bag that i had JUST dragged through there.
DUH.
until the snow melts i will have a trail of what looks like blood leading right to/from my front door to/from the curb.
i'm hoping that my neighbors and/or the cops don't think that i'm some kind of psycho who chops up their victims and puts them out in the weekly trash.
because c'mon...i may be dumb, but not quite that dumb.
exhibit b: battery in a bowl of whipped cream.
question #1: a bowl of whipped cream?
answer: i was hungry. it looked good. don't judge.
question #2: ummm, a battery?
answer: yeah, i know. i decided to remove/replace the one in my wall clock that has been stuck at 8:30 for days before i had my little snack. in the process, i popped it out and it landed right smack in my little snack.
i mean, really...with a whole kitchen full of places where it could land why does it have to land in the one place i don't want it to?
because it's me, that's why. and because i didn't think to move either the bowl, or my urgent/multi-tasking-battery-has-to-be-changed-right-now self to a different area.
so, back to my original question....is it just me, or do these kind of things happen to other people too?
You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
3 comments:
EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!
ALWAYS,D.
i'm LMHO AGAIN!!!! you know it babe!! we are just alike!! luv ya sweets! vin
i KNEW you'd be able to relate to those for sure!
luv u 2!!!
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