you might be a cancer patient if...

...this number pops up on your caller i.d. frequently

(and you have it memorized)

...you store your benedryl like candy
(the word 'drugs' takes on a different/less fun meaning)

...you have lots of tissues and nose issues
(and now own products you never knew existed...nasal gel?)

...your pen collection looks like this
(no longer pens from cool bars & restaurants)

...your hair care products now consist of this,

and this...