chaos is a friend of mine

- i went back to work yesterday to complete chaos. all of my stuff was at my new desk (in boxes), but i had no computer or working phone until the afternoon.

- tragedy!

- not really. i was so busy unpacking things that i didn't even notice for awhile.

- they thought i was supposed to be gone yesterday.

- uhhh, no....

- i had told them that i would be gone for chemo on wednesday, then back in the office thursday & friday.

- pay attention, people.

- by the end of the day i had things mostly organized. i'm sure i'll change things around as time passes.

- it's a totally different atmosphere/vibe than where i've been in the past 9 years in this building, and 20 years at my company.

- but it's cool. i'm already feeling less chaotic and more at home.

- my neck/jaw-locking thing is happening again. it seems to get worse around chemo time, so it's gotta be connected to the chemo and/or steroids interacting with the clot and/or coumadin.

- i got to spend more time with sean last night. he's leaving sunday, and i know i'll be out of commission for the remainder of his stay, so i really wanted to see him while i still could.

- we had a great night just hanging out in his parents' basement watching thursday night tv; which for us meant my name is earl, kath & kim, and the office.

- it's sad to see his dad sort of lost and broken, but trying to stay strong for his family.

- i have no idea how to say anything to him that would make any sense. i can't even begin to imagine having been married to someone for 48 years, much less what i must feel like to lose that person.

- sean says it's the little things that trigger you to realize over and over again that's she is gone forever. little losses every day that add up to one huge loss for the rest of your life. can't imagine, and don't want to.

- i am planning on making it thru today, then just hibernating at home all weekend to make it thru the impending chemo crash. hopefully i'll be feeling better by monday.

happy weekend, everyone!

cathi and i heard this song together yesterday and were both like, 'we've got to look up those lyrics.'

i'm not going to get all political, because that's a private thing for me, but the words to this song had us both listening very intently:

When the President talks to God,
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's rights?
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute on down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed?
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
I wonder which one plays the better cop?
"We should find some jobs the ghetto's broke",
"No, they're lazy George, I say we don't,
Just give em' more liquor stores and dirty coke",
That's what God recommends.

When the President talks to God,
Do they drink near beer and go play golf?
While they pick which countries to invade,
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess God just calls a spade a spade,
When the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
Does he ever think that maybe He's not?
That that voice is just inside his head?
When he kneels next to the Presidential bed,
Does he ever smell his own bullshit?
When the President talks to God?

I doubt it.

When the President Talks to God - Bright Eyes