update

- my family came to my rescue again over the weekend bringing me food, mums for my front porch, homemade cards from my nieces, and mowing my yard.

- my awesome neighbor fixed the spring on my garage door, and then the next morning they brought me a smoothie and muffin from panera.

- these are the neighbors that bought rosalie's house. i'm starting to think she hand-picked them just for me. she and i always had a special bond and watched out for each other, she always worried about me being sick so young. she was in her 80's, so to her i was a baby.

- i am not having as much pain in my chest, but breathing is still pretty labored.

- my jaw continues to spasm preventing me from talking and/or eating properly, which stinks because those are two of my favorite things to do.

- i stayed home from work today in order to get more rest. i really didn't think it would do me or my co-workers much good if i dragged myself into work just to say i was there...a body in a chair.

- i have plenty of sick time and vacation time, plus my company offers short-term disability in half and full day increments.

- i'm really not sure if i could have mustered up enough energy just to get there much less be there all day even though all i do is sit.

- my goal for today was to take a shower which i did...yay me!

- another goal is to try to come up with a plan as to what to do next and how to get everything under control.

- bottom line is that i need to start some kind of chemo again as soon as possible.

- but first i must have a port placed.

- i am scheduled to have that done this coming friday, but after last week i refuse to have any procedures done on a friday ever again.

- plus hayden's 5th birthday party is saturday, i don't want to miss that if at all possible.

- i am leaning toward switching to KU, but with so much stuff going on right now it kind of scares me to make a change at this point.

- i am tired of dealing with all of this and tired of thinking about it. i would like to just have some fun and do some normal things, even if that means going to work.

- going to work every day is normal for me and most people my age.

- being sick, not being able to eat, and not leaving my house other than to go to the hospital really didn't make for the best labor day weekend.

- but, it could be worse. i have the love and support of my family, friends, and neighbors.

- as always, many thanks to all of you for sticking by my side as i make this journey...thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and wishes.