Saving Me

More words from Leroy that again describe perfectly how I feel:

I got an e-mail recently from a friend of mine, telling me how cancer had struck the people close to her. And in the e-mail, she said this, "It's so hard not to be able to save people."

It's hard to imagine the pain behind that statement. And that's one of the reasons that I think, in many ways, cancer is harder on the loved ones than it is on the patient.

Seeing someone who was always so strong, but who is now vulnerable, is truly heartbreaking. To see them suffer, and not be able to ease their pain, to not be able to make it better, can tear your heart apart. Just to feel so helpless as this unseen monster attacks the people we love, it's just not fair.

I understand that, but I also think that my friend is wrong. I understand the frustration in not being able to do something, do something now. To somehow cure them, to make it go away. To just make things the way they used to be. That's not possible. Acknowledging that doesn't ease the pain. But when I say I think she's wrong, this is what I mean.

No one can cure cancer yet. They can treat it in a dozen different ways, but no one can make it go away. But all of the people close to us, all of our friends and families, the people we love and who love us, make surviving this disease, for however long, possible.

You are patient when we are angry and short because of the pain. You see us at our physical worst and tell us that we look great. You smile when that may be the bravest act ever. You are there with a word, a touch. You are just there.

None of us could get through this without you. Don't ever forget that. We are sorry to place our burdens on your shoulders, to share this sadness that no one should have to experience. But we know that your strength becomes our strength. And that's why I say that my friend is wrong. You all save us every day. Every day.

It is such a helpless feeling to see someone you love suffering, to witness them struggling to remain strong in the face of adversity. You want to help, you want to fix things, you want to make everything right again for them...but unfortunately no one can do that for another person.

You don't need the say the perfect words; in fact, you don't need to do or say anything. Just knowing that you are there and that you care means so much. I know that any number of people who read this blog (and those who don't) would drop everything and be there for me at any time day or night if I needed them.

People wonder how I stay so strong and that is my answer right there. I couldn't do it without each and every one of you. You let me be strong, you let me be weak, you just let me be whatever I am at any given moment. How could I not be grateful and feel blessed when I carry that kind of love with me everywhere I go?