it isn't hard to feel me glowing

These are the seasons of emotion
And like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion
I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient
Upon us all a little rain must fall.

Rain Song - Led Zeppelin
(one of my faves of theirs)

This post is mostly taken directly from an e-mail Cathi and I had going today and it pretty much brings you up to speed on my day (yes, this is how we write to each other. i elaborated on some parts for better understanding):

*sorry michelle can't make it .....cool vinda is gonna try....i'm thinking of you and by the time you get this you will be back....

**vin couldn't make it either. my friends hate me. just kiddin...i know they love me, but have other things going on in their lives. it turned out really cool actually cuz i got to meet 2 new girls, got caught up with 2 other girls i've talked to before, and chatted briefly with an 8-year BC survivor who was there with her sister. it was a lot of fun and i wouldn't have gotten that opportunity had i not been alone.

one of the new girls is fairly new to her treatments, and is still in that terribly scary 'WTF?!!? i have M-Fing CANCER...WTFingF?????!!!!!!?????' mode that any cancer patient goes through at times, but especially early on in their diagnosis and treatment (not that they all say it like that, but that's how it feels no matter how you express it).

i suggested that she look online for support after she told me she's not a 'group' type person, but wanted some sort of support to help get through this. i'm not a group person either, so i told her what works well for me instead of that 'let's go around the room' crap. more power to those who like that method, and for whom it works....to each their own.

i also gave her my blog address so she can write me, and then she says, 'kelly, you were my support group today.' how freakin' cool is that?!? cuz she was mine too. we're all in this thing together, for better or worse. for me at least, talking to people makes that potential downer of a place into a much happier one.

so, by two of my girls not showing up, i got to meet at least two more amazing women and connect deeper with two others thereby doubling all the good stuff that friendship is about in the first place.

everything happens for a reason, even the rainstorm that blew in just as i was leaving that delayed me and allowed me to talk to the second younger woman i met today. i am grateful for the way things turned out....so i'm not mad at or disappointed in anyone or anything.

oh, except for my stupid new clinical trial coordinator who ordered my stupid trial drug for the stupid wrong date which is causing me to have to go BACK to that stupid place again stupid tomorrow. STU-PID.

If you're reading, Stacey (or Stacie, Stacy, StaC, Staysea...I didn't get the spelling and I hate misspelling someone's name), this is a survey on weight from the Young Survival Coalition (YSC) site I told you about:

What happened with your weight while on chemo?
lost 20+ pounds	[ 1 ]	[0.87%]
lost 10-20 pounds	[ 11 ]	[9.57%]
lost 5-10 pounds	[ 13 ]	[11.30%]
lost 0-5 pounds	[ 4 ]	[3.48%]
nothing	[ 14 ]	[12.17%]
gained 0-5 pounds	[ 8 ]	[6.96%]
gained 5-10 pounds	[ 13 ]	[11.30%]
gained 10-20 pounds	[ 26 ]	[22.61%]
gained 20-30 pounds	[ 20 ]	[17.39%]
gainded 30+ pounds	[ 5 ]	[4.35%]
Total Votes: 115

So see? We are not alone in our chemo-induced chub club. :o)

There are some topics on the YSC site that are for general young-person-with-any-kind-of-cancer issues (i.e. losing your hair, dealing with husband/kids, emotions, dating, work, fertility, birth control, pregnancy, premature menopause, change in looks/image, etc.).

Also, here a few sites I found that might be helpful:

Yahoo Health - Lung Cancer Online Support

RevolutionHealth

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