all jumbled up

there is too much information floating around my head right now, so i'm going to just hit the highlights:

~ most of my CT came back good/stable.

~ however.......

~ according to the report, my liver has a "1.6 x 1.5 cm low attenuation mass noted within the inferior aspect of the liver adjacent to the gallbladder fossa."

~ huh?

~ this next part i understand, "This is slightly increased in size when compared to the previous study."

~ according to dr. mck, here's what that means: those results combined with my ever-increasing tumor marker numbers mean that the breast cancer is most likely moving to my liver.

~ according to me, here's what that means: holy crap.

~ bottom line: i will probably be switching chemo drugs after tomorrow's treatment.

~ the drugs we discussed are: doxil, xeloda, gemzar, navelbine.

~ i will be researching each of these, and meeting with dr. mck. again later this month...or maybe sooner once i get my thoughts together.

~ i will have my regularly scheduled chemo treatment tomorrow (they'll inject it directly into my veins), but until we decide what to do, i probably won't have another treatment until after the new year.

~ maybe.

~ i would like to enjoy my birthday, christmas, and new years eve.

~ no maybe about that.

~ i don't know...at the moment i am scared, confused, overwhelmed, exhausted, and a whole bunch of other emotions.

~ once i absorb everything and come up with a plan of attack i know i will feel a lot better cuz that's how i roll.

~ but for now, i am mostly just scared.

~ and so very sick of all of this.

~ aaaannnnywaaaaay....

here's an update of the other weird stuff my bodies doing and/or not doing:

port incision: i spoke to dr. jew's nurse today. they want me to keep an eye on the incision, watch for infection, track my temperature, etc.

~ i am scheduled to see her next week, but am supposed to let them know if anything changes or gets worse.

~ cool by me. one less doctor's office to walk into, one less time i have to take off of work, and one less time i have to go out into the cold.

red bump thingys: dr. mck wasn't too worried about them. he said to just put some topical antibiotic cream on them...which i have already been doing.

~ i will continue to watch them and if they get worse or spread, i've already decided that i will go to a dermatologist instead of an oncologist.

and finally, some good news: they're calling for snow here in kc tomorrow!

Today's Playlist
(#1 and #2 are for Dwayne & Vinda,
I cherish you too!)


One more song...it's fairly new, so it's not out many places.
This song has literally been stuck in my head for days now:

Stand & Deliver ~ Amy Ray
(this was filmed sideways by whoever put it on youtube,
don't watch, just listen...you can read the lyrics here)